Wandering Heart

My mind is a dreamer. My heart is a wanderer. They make quite the duo.

In my dreams, my heart discovers countries I’ve never visited and places that don’t exist.

I’ve run across the hills and caves of Middle Earth;

I’ve rushed through the wardrobe, plunging into the snow to meet Aslan;

I’ve wandered through time and watched history unfold;

This I’ve done, and more, but only in my dreams.

I’ve hiked through deserts in Africa;

I climbed Mount Everest and looked out at the world;

I got lost in a volcano beneath Yellowstone and followed pixies back to the surface;

I’ve breezed above the clouds on the backs of eagles;

And bouncily swung through the trees with Tarzan;

I’ve done this and more in my dreams.

In my dreams, yes, dreams of night and day,

I’ve wandered the world and seen the universe

Until reality brings me back to my body rooted to the ground

With reminders that I can only go as far as money can take me

Which isn’t far, for poor little college girl me,

So I’ll go back to my dreams, and do more than I can here.

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Snow!! 

cropped-img_1385.jpgCrystal shapes flutter in my sight

Land on lashes, kiss my skin

Gather on my hair til it’s covered

In white softness
Floating towards the ground

Being blown through the air

Snow, snow, snow!

Covering everything in crystals
How deep will it get this time, I wonder

Will I need my boots?

Will it cover my toes, my ankles?

I do so love the snow.
I’ll leave my tracks in it

And catch it on my tongue

I’ll make snowballs and play

With my siblings and friends

Build snowmen and snow angels

And dance til I drop.

Then I’ll run back inside

And watch the snow fall

From my perch in the warmth.

Restless Musings

Sometimes, I get so tired of the same old things.

Over and over and over, just playing like life never changes –

Follow the same old schedule…

Don’t wish for change. I remind myself “you

Might receive a shock…a friend dies. You lose your job.

You find yourself in a panic for no apparent reason.

You get sick and have to skip days of work or class. ”

“So, don’t wish for change”, I tell myself. So I stop

Wishing for change and just want my stability back.

The same old things over and over and over.

But I am so ready to go! And go! And go!

To live on my own and prove to myself and

My friends and family, that I can be responsible.

I want to throw away that restricting schedule,

Ignore the deadlines and get over the stress –

Escape into God’s beautiful creation and hav

All the time in the world to tell Him how much I love Him!

Focus girl, just breathe, back to the grind.

Get enough sleep, or drink enough caffeine. Be kind

And considerate and share God’s love. Be professional

And be on time, or rather early as you were trained.

Finish your homework, explore your project…

No, do not get distracted by those tv shows and movies

That you love so much. You just have no time for them.

Back to the grind, back to the grind, back to the grind –

But I just wanna go! Get out! Get away from it all! Travel and

Learn as I want. But I can’t…Why is my soul so restless?

Good Friends…

Good friends keep me on my toes

Reminding me what it means to be

Loved and to love, and helping me

Find funny moments whenever my hope I lose.
These are the people who make me feel

Seen and alive and inspired, creativity

Flows from their choosing to be by

My side when over I’m just ready to keel…
From exhaustion or stress or maybe just

A little too much coffee – no such thing –

Lol, And to my attention they bring

Much needed love when I’m ready to bust.
Good friends are always ready to be there

Ready to laugh with you and at you

ready to help you through when you’re tired

and always ready to love you for you.
So thanks so much to my good friends!

*Photos are mine, they are selfies I took this past summer. 

God Come Near

God come near

come near to the lonely heart

near to the wandering child

to the soul seeking you

 

God come near

near to the troubled brow

to the sorrowful and hurt

near to the breaking spirit

 

Powerful Savior draw us near

as we travel this road

you’ve laid before us

that leads into your presence

 

Rescuer draw near to us

heal our hearts and our minds

remind us of your love and peace

for you are here to draw us near

 

When we cry out, as you

promised, God come near

 

*a short poem/prayer inspired by a sermon from my college church’s summer series. The picture is one of mine from a few years ago at the summer camp where I worked.

An Excerpt – “Through the Eyes of Mary Magdalene”

It was a spring day, warm and with a gentle breeze. Birds sang, flowers grew, and people laughed together as they worked.

I had not been working. The demons were restless that day. They took me and threw me against walls, made me rip at my hair, clothes, and skin. They screamed through my voice, tossed my head like a raging animal, shook me until saliva bubbled out of my mouth and trailed down my chin. People had thrown stones at me and cursed at me. I had fled wailing and crying.

I woke from the fit of the demons in an alley. Cuts and bruises littered my arms, legs, and face. My breath dragged through my throat like rough wood. So, I sat in the alley quietly to recover.

I heard voices and I shrank back in the darkness. A group of men passed following a Man.

I felt the demons stirring again. His love seeped out to touch me as He stopped at the entrance of the alley and looked at me. I stood – surely, this Man with mercy in His eyes would be able to help me. I limped toward Him, pulling my ripped clothes around me. He didn’t move until I was standing before Him.

I saw His companions. Twelve men. They drew back when they saw me.

I focused on His face; I didn’t trust what I’d see on their faces.

His face held mercy and forgiveness. The demons were raging inside, trying to get away. I lowered my head as I fought to keep control of my wits and my body. He held out His hand. “Look at me.”

I strained to lift my head, but the seven anchored my body.

“Be still.”

Muscles relaxed as the demons stilled. He lifted my head. A sea of kindness and love ran loose in His eyes.

“Daughter, do you want to be free?”

The demons strained, but they couldn’t move. I had come to Him from the back of the alley with just that request in my soul. Now, my mouth refused to budge. Tears trickled down my face. It seemed impossible to voice my request. My heart shrieked what my mouth could not. He rested His hand on my forehead.

“You are free.”

The demons screamed wildly through my voice, desperately trying to escape this Man.

“Peace, be still. You are forgiven.”

Light and peace pierced my soul. I slumped to the ground.

Strong hands caught me and drew a tunic over my ragged clothes. I raised my head slowly. He was walking away.

Wait! My heart cried. Take me with you!

He stopped and smiled at me.

The man kneeling beside me smiled, “Don’t worry. He told me to bring you with us.”

Tears washed blood from my cheeks as I faltered to my feet.

The man steadied me saying, “His name is Jesus.”

Jesus, what a beautiful name. The Man who looked at me with love and mercy not hatred and disgust.

I smiled and wiped away my tears. No tears of frustration, sadness, or anger would spread over my face again, I vowed. Not while I was with Him.

*An excerpt from a short story I am working on, currently titled “Through the Eyes of Mary Magdalene”